Most of us have one or more challenging core beliefs which surface repeatedly over the course of our lives. These core beliefs are usually rooted in deep, unexpressed fears. Depending on your perspective, core beliefs either cause all sorts of problems, or present many opportunities for growth.
When you choose to look at core belief work as an opportunity, you are much more likely to transform your fears into learning tools which lead to a better life.
Below are the most common core issues, their related fears or beliefs, and suggestions for dealing with them.
Examples of Common Core Challenges and Associated Fears or Beliefs
Abandonment – Nobody cares about me. I’m all alone. I don’t matter. I can’t trust anyone.
Arrogance – I’m better than all of you. I’m too much. I’m right and you’re wrong.
Damaged – Something is wrong with me. I’m a failure. I’m damaged.
Inferiority – I’m not good enough. I’m stupid. I’m worthless. I’m boring. I’m hopeless.
Rejection – I’m a burden. I’m unwanted. Nobody wants to spend time with me.
Shame – I’m bad. I’m evil. I’m a mistake. I’m a monster. I’m disgusting. I’m possessed.
These challenging core beliefs often originate from childhood family scenarios. They can be a result of negative messages that were repeated many times to us by our parents or other significant people in our lives. Or one of these beliefs may have been driven deep into us during one or more traumatic experiences.
Was one of the above core beliefs drilled into you in your early years?
Note that some people are overcompensators. If you are in this category, you may unconsciously do everything you can to make it appear as if you are anything but your core belief. For instance, someone with inferiority as a core belief might outwardly appear very macho or domineering. Yet deep inside, this is covering up a fear of being inferior. A person dealing with shame may be overly nice and giving to cover up a belief that they are really bad. If you are having trouble finding a core challenge, notice if any of your behavior is opposite of the above core challenges.
Examples of Behavior of Overcompensators
Abandonment – Always need to be included, join everything to avoid deeper feelings.
Arrogance – Act very humble, hiding their deeper belief that no one can match them.
Damaged – Present themselves as always great, avoid talking about their problems.
Inferiority – Macho, domineering, need to prove they are better than others.
Rejection – Present themselves as incredibly desirable, yet reject others easily.
Shame – Overly nice and giving. Overcompetency. Secretly fear being exposed as fraud.
Whether you are an overcompensator or not, by exploring the deep beliefs behind your fears, you can transform your life for the better.
Though you may find that you have more than one of the above, generally one will be more prominent than the others. If this concept is new to you, I highly recommend you first focus on exploring your most prominent core challenge. To deal with this, you can then design intentions to gradually shift this deeply ingrained fear or belief.
At the root of all of these core challenges is a lack of acceptance and a deep feeling of being disconnected. This disconnection can be from ourselves, from others, from our spiritual nature, or from any combination of these.
Was there are core belief you resonated with?